Chapter 7
The warmth of the sun felt good on Justin’s upturned face. The winter, as long as it had been, was finally in its death throes. March was notoriously fickle in Alberta, but the snow was gradually subsiding. Birds chirped in the trees, and water dripped from the eaves. The smell of wood smoke hung in the air, but underneath it he could also detect the earthy smell that told him more clearly than anything else that winter was over. He took a deep breath, put down the axe, and stretched.
Alyse poked her head out the door. “Justin, have you seen James?”
“He took off a little while ago,” he told her. “I think he’s gone to try and shoot that bloody squirrel he keeps talking about.”
Alyse smiled. “It was that story about your grandfather, you know. He’s wanted to try squirrel ever since you told him about it.”
“It gives him something to do,” Justin laughed. “Besides, my grandfather really did hunt squirrels when he was a kid.”
Shaking her head, Alyse glanced back inside. “Brigitte! Are you going to sleep all day?” She glanced back at Justin and grinned. “You look good today,” she observed.
“I feel good,” Justin replied. “The sun’s warm, the air is fresh… it’s a good day.”
Justin bent down to pick up the small stack of wood he’d split. “What’s for breakfast?”
Alyse grimaced at him. “Venison and potatoes,” she replied. “Part of me hopes James gets that squirrel, if only for something new.”
“It’ll be warm enough to fish, soon,” he told her as he rose. Suddenly he felt his body go rigid.
At the end of the drive was a man in army fatigues.
“Alyse, get the rifle,” he whispered, not taking his eyes off the man walking slowly toward them.
Alyse squeaked softly and darted inside. She returned momentarily and handed him the gun. Justin checked the chamber quickly and clicked off the safety.
“What do you want, stranger?” Justin demanded.
The man walking toward them paused and raised his hands. “I don’t want any trouble,” he called out.
“Then turn around and head back the way you came,” Justin told him.
The man began walking forward again, slowly and with his hands raised. “I just want to talk,” he said loudly.
There was a sudden clatter inside, and Justin heard Brigitte scream. Alyse spun and bolted back inside. There was the sound of something breaking, followed by silence. “Alyse?” Justin called out, not taking his eyes from the man walking toward him.
“Put down the gun and they won’t get hurt,” the man told him. “My friend inside is armed. We just want some food.”
Justin stared hard at the other man. The camo fatigues he was wearing were dirty and in bad shape. An American flag on the right shoulder told Justin all he needed to know. His eyes narrowed. “Deserters,” he growled.
“Put down the gun,” the soldier repeated. “We don’t want to have to hurt you.”
From the corner of his eye, Justin saw Alyse backing out the front door, her hands up and her eyes terrified. A second man, dressed exactly the same as the first, followed her out, one arm around Brigitte’s neck. He held a handgun levelled at Alyse. Justin hesitated for a moment, and then he lowered the rifle. He placed it on the ground and raised his hands. “Take what you want,” he told them. “Just don’t hurt them.”
The first man made a curt motion for Justin to go join Alyse and Brigitte. He inched over until he was standing beside Alyse. The second man shoved Brigitte forward, propelling her into Alyse. They both stumbled, and Justin caught them before they fell. The first man moved up beside the second, smiling darkly. “What a cute little family. My, but they grow the girls pretty up here, don’t they Zach?”
The one called Zach leered at Alyse and nodded, his eyes feverish.
“Just take what you want,” Justin repeated. “Then go. We don’t want any trouble.”
“Didn’t I just say the same thing?” the first soldier growled. “But you had to go and be rude. I always heard that Canadians were so polite, but every place we’ve been to, you’ve been outright rude. We’ve had to teach you people a lesson or two, the last few weeks. I guess you need to learn your lesson, too.”
The second soldier, Zach, laughed darkly. “You want the girl or the woman, Bill?”
“Patience, Zach,” the first soldier said softly, his eyes lingering on Brigitte. “Patience.”
“Please…” Alyse began.
“Oh, I love it when they beg,” the one called Bill commented softly. He stepped forward and cupped Brigitte’s chin in his hand. “Hello, little girl. What’s your name?”
“Get your hands off her,” Justin snarled, but the soldier ignored him, his fingers tucking Brigitte’s hair back behind her ear. When Justin shifted, the soldier suddenly lashed out and slammed a fist into Justin’s stomach. Justin doubled over, and dropped to one knee. The soldier stepped closer to Justin and grabbed him by the hair.
“I’m going to teach you a little lesson in being polite, Canadian. First, never talk to your betters.” He slammed a fist into Justin’s mouth, knocking him to the ground. “Second…”
Before he could speak, there was a gunshot, and Justin jerked up in terrified surprise, his eyes wide. He stared wildly at Alyse and Brigitte, but they were cowering down, Alyse trying to shield Brigitte with her body. Neither looked hurt.
The second soldier, Zach, took a stumbling step forward, dropped the gun he was holding, and fell limply to the ground. Bill released Justin’s hair and rose abruptly to his feet, obviously confused, and a second shot ripped through the morning stillness. Justin stared in horror as the left side of Bill’s head erupted in a mass of blood and bone.
As the report of the second gunshot echoed across the lake and slowly faded, Justin looked up into the brilliant, angry blue eyes of his son, standing on the concrete slab between the cabins, the Glock he was never supposed to touch clutched tightly in his tiny hands.
“James,” Justin breathed, raising one hand gently. “Put the gun down, son.”
His son glanced at him. While his eyes were stormy, his lower lip trembled. “Are you okay, Daddy?” The gun never wavered, aimed with uncanny precision on the fallen deserters.
Justin rubbed his jaw and nodded. “I’ll be fine,” he replied. He glanced at the two men lying on the ground. He rose to his feet and stepped over to pick up the fallen handgun by Zach’s hand. The chamber and magazine were both full when he checked. The gun was a standard issue military side arm, a .45 semi-automatic. He looked from the firearm to the fallen soldier. The entry wound on Zach was little more than a darkening red stain in the middle of the deserter’s back. It looked as though the shot had hit the man in the spine, just in the middle of the rib cage. It was an instantly lethal shot.
He was about to say something further when Alyse rose up and stomped over to where Bill had fallen. She stared down at the body for a moment, and then she started kicking it viciously in the stomach. Tears streamed down her face and she screamed in her rage. Justin watched her for a moment, and then went over to help Brigitte up. He tried to keep himself between her and the bodies on the ground, but her wide, dark eyes stared at them from around his legs.
“Are they dead?” Brigitte asked in a tremulous voice.
Justin nodded soberly. “They are,”
James, still standing on the concrete pad, had lowered the gun. He looked over at Justin as his father led Brigitte inside the cabin. “I’m sorry I touched the gun without asking, Dad.”
Justin paused. He looked down at his son, his expression carefully neutral. “Make sure the safety is on, kiddo,” he said at last. “Then put it back so we know where it is.”
James looked down at the gun in his hands and nodded. Justin could tell his son was on the verge of tears, and he wracked his brain for what to say. His seven-year old son had just killed two men. That was the kind of thing that could permanently scar the boy if it wasn’t handled properly. At last, Justin placed one hand on his son’s head and murmured, “That was well done, Jim. I wish it hadn’t been necessary, but it was.”
“I made sure they didn’t suffer, Dad,” James whispered. “Just like with a deer.”
Justin felt the corner of his lips twitch up slightly, and he led Brigitte inside.
Alyse and James walked into the cabin a few minutes later. James walked over to where the Glock was stored, beside the bunk beds. Before he put the gun away, he replaced the two rounds he had fired into the clip. Alyse walked over and sat on one of the chairs at the table, reaching across to hold Brigitte’s hand. Justin stood by the stove, staring at the meat sitting in the frying pan.
“Dad,” James commented softly after he’d returned the gun to its hiding place. “What are ‘deserters’?”
Justin glanced over at him. “You heard that? Where were you?”
“On the roof, behind the chimney,” his son replied. “It’s the only place where I had an angle on that squirrel’s nest. I came down in the back when that man made Alyse and Brigitte leave the cabin and I snuck inside behind them when they were watching you.”
Justin frowned. “Deserters are men who were with the army, but ran away from it. They are the worst kind of men in times of war, especially if they are in enemy territory. They have nothing to lose. Their own army will usually arrest or execute them if they catch them, and their enemy’s army will shoot them on sight. From what those two said…” he trailed off.
Alyse looked up from where she was sitting. Her eyes focused on James. “Thank you, James. This is the second time you’ve saved my daughter and me.” She turned to look at Justin, her expression concerned. “If deserters are in the area…”
Justin nodded. “It means that the main force is probably not too far off. We’ll need to get rid of the bodies, and we’ll have to start keeping a look-out. I think we should limit the number of fires we have, and try and keep the place looking as uninhabited as we can. I want to lock up the sheds and close the shudders on the empty cabin. We can use it as a bolt-hole, as long as it doesn’t look like anyone’s been here in a long time.”
“We haven’t listened to the radio in a while,” Alyse observed quietly. “Maybe…?”
“The last time we listened, all stations were off-air,” Justin reminded her.
“I know, but it’s possible that someone is broadcasting. It’s been over two months.”
Justin paused, but finally he nodded. “I’ll fire the generator up this evening. We’ll scan for a few hours.” He glanced over at James. “How’s that breakfast?”
“Pretty burned,” James admitted.
Alyse rose and walked over to look at the frying pan. She grimaced. “I’ll cook some more.”
“Let’s go for a quick hike, Jim. I want to look around and make sure there’s no one else in the neighborhood.”
James nodded and grabbed his jacked from the coat rack behind the front door. He paused, and then hurried to the back door, returning with the rifle Justin had left lying, forgotten, on the ground outside. “We should take this,” James said softly.
Justin swung the gun over his shoulder, tousled his son’s blonde hair, and the two of them left. Neither of them looked at the bodies lying in the dirt a few yards away, but both were painfully aware of their presence.
Justin led James down toward the lake rather than up the lane. As he walked, he studied his son. James was walking with his head down and his hands in his pockets. It took Justin a long time to speak as he considered what he was going to say. “We need to talk about what happened back there, kiddo,” he said at last, as they stopped at the edge of the lake.
James nodded.
“I want you to know that I’m not angry at you,” Justin continued. “I just want that to be clear.”
His son seemed to relax a little, but still said nothing, his eyes focused on the ground.
Justin sighed and stared out across the still-frozen water. The ice was thinning, but it would be several days before it began to break up.
“Those two men would have hurt us,” he murmured. “But I am worried about you, now. Killing isn’t easy. It shouldn’t be. It doesn’t matter if it’s a squirrel, a deer, or something else.”
James finally glanced up at him. “I didn’t want to,” he whispered, a single tear running down his cheek. “I thought they might leave us alone, just take our food like you told them to, so I didn’t shoot right away. Then that man hit you, and I knew they wouldn’t. I knew that even if they took our food and left, they wouldn’t leave us alone. They would come back.”
Justin crouched down in front of James. He studied the serious look in his son’s eyes, his heart breaking at his son’s loss of innocence. “You did what you had to do, Jim. I want you to know that I would have done the same thing. Sometimes people can’t be reasoned with. Some people don’t care who they hurt, as long as it benefits them. Those men were like that. They were the kind of men who take everything they can, who feed on other people’s pain. Those kinds of people are dangerous, and the worst part is that they don’t look any different than you or me. You can’t look at someone and say, “he’s good”, or “he’s bad”. It’s what a person does, not what they look like, that tells you what kind of person they are.”
“I killed those men,” James murmured, another tear escaping his blue eyes. “Doesn’t that make me just like them?”
Justin reached out and pulled his son close. “No, Jim. You shot those men to protect those you love. You didn’t do it because you were hungry. You didn’t do it because you wanted what they had. You did it because they threatened the people who you cared for. That, in itself, is what separates you from people like that.” He leaned back until he held James at arm’s length. “But what tells me the most about the kind of man you are going to be isn’t that you shot them to protect us, but that you waited, that you held out hope that it might not be necessary. You waited until they gave you no other choice than to do what you had to do in order to keep us safe. What’s even more, once you saw that, you acted. You didn’t hesitate. That, Jim… that’s special.”
James rubbed the tears from his cheeks and blinked up at his father. “So you aren’t angry that I didn’t run away like you told me to?”
Justin bowed his head to prevent James from seeing the smile on his lips. “Son,” he said at last, “I meant what I said. The next time you see a man with a gun, run. That being said, I’m glad you didn’t listen this time.”
James smiled tentatively, and Justin hugged his son tightly. “You did good, kiddo. I just don’t want you to ever have to kill a man again. Now, let’s take a look around and get back home for breakfast. We don’t want Alyse to cook a second breakfast for nothing.”
“Dad…” James began hesitantly as they began walking away from the icy surface of the lake. “Is Alyse going to be my new mom?”
Justin looked over his shoulder sharply, and stumbled over a ridge of snow. “What?”
James shrugged. “It’s just how you look at her, and how she looks at you. I was just wondering.”
Justin rubbed his eyes. “I don’t know, kiddo. Sometimes I think maybe, and sometimes I just don’t know. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.”
“I miss Mom,” James told him softly. “But I really like Alyse. I don’t think she would run away if she got scared.”
Justin thought of how Alyse had shielded Brigitte when she thought the soldier had started shooting and he needed in agreement. “I don’t think she would, either, kiddo. Now let’s get going.”
*
“He’s not like other kids,” Alyse whispered that night as they sat together at the table, listening to the children as they slept. James had crawled into bed with Brigitte, claiming that he didn’t want to sleep alone. Both Alyse and Justin had seen through the ruse. It wasn’t James who was scared; Brigitte hadn’t wanted to go to sleep, terrified that the ‘bad men’ would come back. James’ presence had been exactly what the little girl had needed. Alyse glanced up at Justin. “He seems so… grown up.”
Justin nodded. “I know. He’s always been like that. My grandfather would have said he had an old soul. He’s quick… and he picks up on things. I would love to say he takes after me, but he’s more like my grandfather than anyone else.”
“What about his mother?” Alyse asked, looking away.
Justin paused. Both Lisa and Alyse’s husband, Luc, had always remained a subject that the two of them had avoided. He took a deep breath. “He has his mother’s good looks, but Lisa wasn’t anything like him. She didn’t really understand him. She tried her best, but sometimes I think James looked after her while I was at work, not the other way around.”
“What was she like?” Alyse’s dark eyes were pools of shadow, flickering in the kerosene flame.
He struggled with the question. He had difficulty reconciling the woman he had fallen in love with and the woman who had run away from him and their son. “She was… fragile,” he admitted. “She was in and out of abusive relationships before we met. It left an impression. I don’t think she ever fully trusted that I wasn’t going to turn into the same kind of monster she had always known. She was one of those women that you feel you need to protect. Defenceless.”
“And you were her white knight?” Alyse teased gently.
Justin shrugged. “I guess so. I wanted to be, at any rate. Tried to be. While I’m still angry that she left us, I think it may have been the bravest thing I ever saw her do. She was running away, but at the same time, I think she was running back to actually stand up for what she believed in.”
Alyse reached out and took his hands in hers. “And what about you, Justin McLeod? Why did you leave? You don’t strike me as a man who runs away.”
“Me?” Justin asked, genuinely surprised. “I saw what was coming. I knew I couldn’t keep James safe if we stayed in the city. In both World Wars, Canada instituted a mandatory conscription, and we didn’t face a direct threat in either war. It would only be a matter of time before the army came knocking. I knew that if the bombs didn’t get us, the military would… one way or another.”
“Protective,” Alyse said quietly. “I saw that in you today, when you tried to get them to leave by putting down the rifle. I didn’t expect that.”
Justin frowned. “I…”
Alyse shook her head. “Shh. I know. I would have done the same.”
They sat there in silence for several minutes, just staring across the kerosene lantern at each other. Justin finally took a deep breath. “James asked me today if you were going to be his new mother,” he whispered.
Alyse smiled slowly, arching one fine eyebrow. “And what did you tell him?”
“That I didn’t know,” he answered honestly.
He watched her in the flickering light as she rose silently to her feet and walked around the table. She reached down and touched his cheek, and he felt his pulse quicken. Leaning over, she kissed him lightly, cupping his chin in her hands. “I think,” she breathed softly in his ear, “that we have both waited in the car for someone to come back for long enough, Justin.”
Turning, she blew out the kerosene lantern and then guided him across the room to the bed.
Alyse poked her head out the door. “Justin, have you seen James?”
“He took off a little while ago,” he told her. “I think he’s gone to try and shoot that bloody squirrel he keeps talking about.”
Alyse smiled. “It was that story about your grandfather, you know. He’s wanted to try squirrel ever since you told him about it.”
“It gives him something to do,” Justin laughed. “Besides, my grandfather really did hunt squirrels when he was a kid.”
Shaking her head, Alyse glanced back inside. “Brigitte! Are you going to sleep all day?” She glanced back at Justin and grinned. “You look good today,” she observed.
“I feel good,” Justin replied. “The sun’s warm, the air is fresh… it’s a good day.”
Justin bent down to pick up the small stack of wood he’d split. “What’s for breakfast?”
Alyse grimaced at him. “Venison and potatoes,” she replied. “Part of me hopes James gets that squirrel, if only for something new.”
“It’ll be warm enough to fish, soon,” he told her as he rose. Suddenly he felt his body go rigid.
At the end of the drive was a man in army fatigues.
“Alyse, get the rifle,” he whispered, not taking his eyes off the man walking slowly toward them.
Alyse squeaked softly and darted inside. She returned momentarily and handed him the gun. Justin checked the chamber quickly and clicked off the safety.
“What do you want, stranger?” Justin demanded.
The man walking toward them paused and raised his hands. “I don’t want any trouble,” he called out.
“Then turn around and head back the way you came,” Justin told him.
The man began walking forward again, slowly and with his hands raised. “I just want to talk,” he said loudly.
There was a sudden clatter inside, and Justin heard Brigitte scream. Alyse spun and bolted back inside. There was the sound of something breaking, followed by silence. “Alyse?” Justin called out, not taking his eyes from the man walking toward him.
“Put down the gun and they won’t get hurt,” the man told him. “My friend inside is armed. We just want some food.”
Justin stared hard at the other man. The camo fatigues he was wearing were dirty and in bad shape. An American flag on the right shoulder told Justin all he needed to know. His eyes narrowed. “Deserters,” he growled.
“Put down the gun,” the soldier repeated. “We don’t want to have to hurt you.”
From the corner of his eye, Justin saw Alyse backing out the front door, her hands up and her eyes terrified. A second man, dressed exactly the same as the first, followed her out, one arm around Brigitte’s neck. He held a handgun levelled at Alyse. Justin hesitated for a moment, and then he lowered the rifle. He placed it on the ground and raised his hands. “Take what you want,” he told them. “Just don’t hurt them.”
The first man made a curt motion for Justin to go join Alyse and Brigitte. He inched over until he was standing beside Alyse. The second man shoved Brigitte forward, propelling her into Alyse. They both stumbled, and Justin caught them before they fell. The first man moved up beside the second, smiling darkly. “What a cute little family. My, but they grow the girls pretty up here, don’t they Zach?”
The one called Zach leered at Alyse and nodded, his eyes feverish.
“Just take what you want,” Justin repeated. “Then go. We don’t want any trouble.”
“Didn’t I just say the same thing?” the first soldier growled. “But you had to go and be rude. I always heard that Canadians were so polite, but every place we’ve been to, you’ve been outright rude. We’ve had to teach you people a lesson or two, the last few weeks. I guess you need to learn your lesson, too.”
The second soldier, Zach, laughed darkly. “You want the girl or the woman, Bill?”
“Patience, Zach,” the first soldier said softly, his eyes lingering on Brigitte. “Patience.”
“Please…” Alyse began.
“Oh, I love it when they beg,” the one called Bill commented softly. He stepped forward and cupped Brigitte’s chin in his hand. “Hello, little girl. What’s your name?”
“Get your hands off her,” Justin snarled, but the soldier ignored him, his fingers tucking Brigitte’s hair back behind her ear. When Justin shifted, the soldier suddenly lashed out and slammed a fist into Justin’s stomach. Justin doubled over, and dropped to one knee. The soldier stepped closer to Justin and grabbed him by the hair.
“I’m going to teach you a little lesson in being polite, Canadian. First, never talk to your betters.” He slammed a fist into Justin’s mouth, knocking him to the ground. “Second…”
Before he could speak, there was a gunshot, and Justin jerked up in terrified surprise, his eyes wide. He stared wildly at Alyse and Brigitte, but they were cowering down, Alyse trying to shield Brigitte with her body. Neither looked hurt.
The second soldier, Zach, took a stumbling step forward, dropped the gun he was holding, and fell limply to the ground. Bill released Justin’s hair and rose abruptly to his feet, obviously confused, and a second shot ripped through the morning stillness. Justin stared in horror as the left side of Bill’s head erupted in a mass of blood and bone.
As the report of the second gunshot echoed across the lake and slowly faded, Justin looked up into the brilliant, angry blue eyes of his son, standing on the concrete slab between the cabins, the Glock he was never supposed to touch clutched tightly in his tiny hands.
“James,” Justin breathed, raising one hand gently. “Put the gun down, son.”
His son glanced at him. While his eyes were stormy, his lower lip trembled. “Are you okay, Daddy?” The gun never wavered, aimed with uncanny precision on the fallen deserters.
Justin rubbed his jaw and nodded. “I’ll be fine,” he replied. He glanced at the two men lying on the ground. He rose to his feet and stepped over to pick up the fallen handgun by Zach’s hand. The chamber and magazine were both full when he checked. The gun was a standard issue military side arm, a .45 semi-automatic. He looked from the firearm to the fallen soldier. The entry wound on Zach was little more than a darkening red stain in the middle of the deserter’s back. It looked as though the shot had hit the man in the spine, just in the middle of the rib cage. It was an instantly lethal shot.
He was about to say something further when Alyse rose up and stomped over to where Bill had fallen. She stared down at the body for a moment, and then she started kicking it viciously in the stomach. Tears streamed down her face and she screamed in her rage. Justin watched her for a moment, and then went over to help Brigitte up. He tried to keep himself between her and the bodies on the ground, but her wide, dark eyes stared at them from around his legs.
“Are they dead?” Brigitte asked in a tremulous voice.
Justin nodded soberly. “They are,”
James, still standing on the concrete pad, had lowered the gun. He looked over at Justin as his father led Brigitte inside the cabin. “I’m sorry I touched the gun without asking, Dad.”
Justin paused. He looked down at his son, his expression carefully neutral. “Make sure the safety is on, kiddo,” he said at last. “Then put it back so we know where it is.”
James looked down at the gun in his hands and nodded. Justin could tell his son was on the verge of tears, and he wracked his brain for what to say. His seven-year old son had just killed two men. That was the kind of thing that could permanently scar the boy if it wasn’t handled properly. At last, Justin placed one hand on his son’s head and murmured, “That was well done, Jim. I wish it hadn’t been necessary, but it was.”
“I made sure they didn’t suffer, Dad,” James whispered. “Just like with a deer.”
Justin felt the corner of his lips twitch up slightly, and he led Brigitte inside.
Alyse and James walked into the cabin a few minutes later. James walked over to where the Glock was stored, beside the bunk beds. Before he put the gun away, he replaced the two rounds he had fired into the clip. Alyse walked over and sat on one of the chairs at the table, reaching across to hold Brigitte’s hand. Justin stood by the stove, staring at the meat sitting in the frying pan.
“Dad,” James commented softly after he’d returned the gun to its hiding place. “What are ‘deserters’?”
Justin glanced over at him. “You heard that? Where were you?”
“On the roof, behind the chimney,” his son replied. “It’s the only place where I had an angle on that squirrel’s nest. I came down in the back when that man made Alyse and Brigitte leave the cabin and I snuck inside behind them when they were watching you.”
Justin frowned. “Deserters are men who were with the army, but ran away from it. They are the worst kind of men in times of war, especially if they are in enemy territory. They have nothing to lose. Their own army will usually arrest or execute them if they catch them, and their enemy’s army will shoot them on sight. From what those two said…” he trailed off.
Alyse looked up from where she was sitting. Her eyes focused on James. “Thank you, James. This is the second time you’ve saved my daughter and me.” She turned to look at Justin, her expression concerned. “If deserters are in the area…”
Justin nodded. “It means that the main force is probably not too far off. We’ll need to get rid of the bodies, and we’ll have to start keeping a look-out. I think we should limit the number of fires we have, and try and keep the place looking as uninhabited as we can. I want to lock up the sheds and close the shudders on the empty cabin. We can use it as a bolt-hole, as long as it doesn’t look like anyone’s been here in a long time.”
“We haven’t listened to the radio in a while,” Alyse observed quietly. “Maybe…?”
“The last time we listened, all stations were off-air,” Justin reminded her.
“I know, but it’s possible that someone is broadcasting. It’s been over two months.”
Justin paused, but finally he nodded. “I’ll fire the generator up this evening. We’ll scan for a few hours.” He glanced over at James. “How’s that breakfast?”
“Pretty burned,” James admitted.
Alyse rose and walked over to look at the frying pan. She grimaced. “I’ll cook some more.”
“Let’s go for a quick hike, Jim. I want to look around and make sure there’s no one else in the neighborhood.”
James nodded and grabbed his jacked from the coat rack behind the front door. He paused, and then hurried to the back door, returning with the rifle Justin had left lying, forgotten, on the ground outside. “We should take this,” James said softly.
Justin swung the gun over his shoulder, tousled his son’s blonde hair, and the two of them left. Neither of them looked at the bodies lying in the dirt a few yards away, but both were painfully aware of their presence.
Justin led James down toward the lake rather than up the lane. As he walked, he studied his son. James was walking with his head down and his hands in his pockets. It took Justin a long time to speak as he considered what he was going to say. “We need to talk about what happened back there, kiddo,” he said at last, as they stopped at the edge of the lake.
James nodded.
“I want you to know that I’m not angry at you,” Justin continued. “I just want that to be clear.”
His son seemed to relax a little, but still said nothing, his eyes focused on the ground.
Justin sighed and stared out across the still-frozen water. The ice was thinning, but it would be several days before it began to break up.
“Those two men would have hurt us,” he murmured. “But I am worried about you, now. Killing isn’t easy. It shouldn’t be. It doesn’t matter if it’s a squirrel, a deer, or something else.”
James finally glanced up at him. “I didn’t want to,” he whispered, a single tear running down his cheek. “I thought they might leave us alone, just take our food like you told them to, so I didn’t shoot right away. Then that man hit you, and I knew they wouldn’t. I knew that even if they took our food and left, they wouldn’t leave us alone. They would come back.”
Justin crouched down in front of James. He studied the serious look in his son’s eyes, his heart breaking at his son’s loss of innocence. “You did what you had to do, Jim. I want you to know that I would have done the same thing. Sometimes people can’t be reasoned with. Some people don’t care who they hurt, as long as it benefits them. Those men were like that. They were the kind of men who take everything they can, who feed on other people’s pain. Those kinds of people are dangerous, and the worst part is that they don’t look any different than you or me. You can’t look at someone and say, “he’s good”, or “he’s bad”. It’s what a person does, not what they look like, that tells you what kind of person they are.”
“I killed those men,” James murmured, another tear escaping his blue eyes. “Doesn’t that make me just like them?”
Justin reached out and pulled his son close. “No, Jim. You shot those men to protect those you love. You didn’t do it because you were hungry. You didn’t do it because you wanted what they had. You did it because they threatened the people who you cared for. That, in itself, is what separates you from people like that.” He leaned back until he held James at arm’s length. “But what tells me the most about the kind of man you are going to be isn’t that you shot them to protect us, but that you waited, that you held out hope that it might not be necessary. You waited until they gave you no other choice than to do what you had to do in order to keep us safe. What’s even more, once you saw that, you acted. You didn’t hesitate. That, Jim… that’s special.”
James rubbed the tears from his cheeks and blinked up at his father. “So you aren’t angry that I didn’t run away like you told me to?”
Justin bowed his head to prevent James from seeing the smile on his lips. “Son,” he said at last, “I meant what I said. The next time you see a man with a gun, run. That being said, I’m glad you didn’t listen this time.”
James smiled tentatively, and Justin hugged his son tightly. “You did good, kiddo. I just don’t want you to ever have to kill a man again. Now, let’s take a look around and get back home for breakfast. We don’t want Alyse to cook a second breakfast for nothing.”
“Dad…” James began hesitantly as they began walking away from the icy surface of the lake. “Is Alyse going to be my new mom?”
Justin looked over his shoulder sharply, and stumbled over a ridge of snow. “What?”
James shrugged. “It’s just how you look at her, and how she looks at you. I was just wondering.”
Justin rubbed his eyes. “I don’t know, kiddo. Sometimes I think maybe, and sometimes I just don’t know. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.”
“I miss Mom,” James told him softly. “But I really like Alyse. I don’t think she would run away if she got scared.”
Justin thought of how Alyse had shielded Brigitte when she thought the soldier had started shooting and he needed in agreement. “I don’t think she would, either, kiddo. Now let’s get going.”
*
“He’s not like other kids,” Alyse whispered that night as they sat together at the table, listening to the children as they slept. James had crawled into bed with Brigitte, claiming that he didn’t want to sleep alone. Both Alyse and Justin had seen through the ruse. It wasn’t James who was scared; Brigitte hadn’t wanted to go to sleep, terrified that the ‘bad men’ would come back. James’ presence had been exactly what the little girl had needed. Alyse glanced up at Justin. “He seems so… grown up.”
Justin nodded. “I know. He’s always been like that. My grandfather would have said he had an old soul. He’s quick… and he picks up on things. I would love to say he takes after me, but he’s more like my grandfather than anyone else.”
“What about his mother?” Alyse asked, looking away.
Justin paused. Both Lisa and Alyse’s husband, Luc, had always remained a subject that the two of them had avoided. He took a deep breath. “He has his mother’s good looks, but Lisa wasn’t anything like him. She didn’t really understand him. She tried her best, but sometimes I think James looked after her while I was at work, not the other way around.”
“What was she like?” Alyse’s dark eyes were pools of shadow, flickering in the kerosene flame.
He struggled with the question. He had difficulty reconciling the woman he had fallen in love with and the woman who had run away from him and their son. “She was… fragile,” he admitted. “She was in and out of abusive relationships before we met. It left an impression. I don’t think she ever fully trusted that I wasn’t going to turn into the same kind of monster she had always known. She was one of those women that you feel you need to protect. Defenceless.”
“And you were her white knight?” Alyse teased gently.
Justin shrugged. “I guess so. I wanted to be, at any rate. Tried to be. While I’m still angry that she left us, I think it may have been the bravest thing I ever saw her do. She was running away, but at the same time, I think she was running back to actually stand up for what she believed in.”
Alyse reached out and took his hands in hers. “And what about you, Justin McLeod? Why did you leave? You don’t strike me as a man who runs away.”
“Me?” Justin asked, genuinely surprised. “I saw what was coming. I knew I couldn’t keep James safe if we stayed in the city. In both World Wars, Canada instituted a mandatory conscription, and we didn’t face a direct threat in either war. It would only be a matter of time before the army came knocking. I knew that if the bombs didn’t get us, the military would… one way or another.”
“Protective,” Alyse said quietly. “I saw that in you today, when you tried to get them to leave by putting down the rifle. I didn’t expect that.”
Justin frowned. “I…”
Alyse shook her head. “Shh. I know. I would have done the same.”
They sat there in silence for several minutes, just staring across the kerosene lantern at each other. Justin finally took a deep breath. “James asked me today if you were going to be his new mother,” he whispered.
Alyse smiled slowly, arching one fine eyebrow. “And what did you tell him?”
“That I didn’t know,” he answered honestly.
He watched her in the flickering light as she rose silently to her feet and walked around the table. She reached down and touched his cheek, and he felt his pulse quicken. Leaning over, she kissed him lightly, cupping his chin in her hands. “I think,” she breathed softly in his ear, “that we have both waited in the car for someone to come back for long enough, Justin.”
Turning, she blew out the kerosene lantern and then guided him across the room to the bed.